Unfortunately, becoming a victim of sexual assault is a very real possibility in our society. Statistics say that as many as one in four women will be a victim at one point in their life. However, studies have also shown that women who have had some type of self defense training have only a 1 in 25 chance of being assaulted. This is because women who have some type of defensive or avoidance training tend to be more cognizant of warning signs, they avoid areas where trouble is likely, and they project confidence. In short, they don’t make themselves an easy target and therefore, a potential attacker will bypass that women and look for easier prey. So, most sexual attacks can be stopped before they begin, without any physical confrontation at all. Follow these steps to avoid becoming a victim. bay of plenty sexual harm support

How you present yourself

Be careful about how you dress. Wearing flashy jewelry or revealing clothing will attract attention, especially if you are alone. The point isn’t to completely refrain from wearing any clothing like this, just consider where you’ll be going, the time of day, what kind of neighborhood you’re in, and whether you will be traveling with trusted friends or alone. sexual assault tauranga

Many sexual assaults are committed by someone who the victim knew. It’s important for you to set the tone and dictate to others how you expect them to treat you. Let others know acceptable and unacceptable ways of treating you. It’s OK to be friendly and polite but at the first sign of unacceptable behavior, be firm and make it very clear what your boundaries and guidelines are.

Also, your body language is important. It’s important to understand what messages you are sending to others. Attackers will choose their victim based on who they feel will be an easy target. Make yourself appear confidant and walk with a sense of purpose. Keep your head up and maintain eye contact to keep from appearing timid. The main thing is to avoid looking like a helpless victim, or easy prey. sexually assaulted Tauranga

Be aware of your surroundings

Always be aware of your surroundings, including any people lingering nearby. This means be aware of and identify possible places where you are vulnerable and an attacker can hide and surprise you. Bushes, large vehicles, trash dumpsters or behind buildings. Avoid these areas whenever possible, if not then be vigilant and ready. Choose a path that puts either obstacles or distance between you and an attacker.

Also, avoid talking on your cell phone while walking to and from your vehicle. This tells a potential attacker that you are preoccupied and not paying attention to your surroundings. Even though you may feel safer because you are talking to someone, it’s a distraction and it makes you a target. sexual abuse hamilton

Trust your instincts

Women are very intuitive, so trust your intuition, don’t ignore it. There is no penalty for being overly cautious, but the consequences for being careless can be devastating. If you feel a situation might be unsafe then it probably is. Learn to recognize the messages that your body is sending you; goose bumps, heightened heart rate, or just a strange feeling that something isn’t quite right. Don’t allow yourself to feel “silly” or “paranoid”. If you feel uncomfortable about a situation listen to your intuition, it’s one of your most powerful self defense mechanisms that you have. Never be afraid of offending someone because you choose to walk on the opposite side of the street or waited for the next elevator. Trust your gut and go with it.

Child sexual abuse for most victims is an experience that is both traumatic and confusing. Most of them find it hard to accept what really happened to them, and that’s why most end up having behavioral and psychological problems in the long run. Experts contend that counseling and therapy help the victims move on and heal the wounds of the abuse. However, the first crucial part of the healing process is really about telling the sexual abuse story.

It is quite common for a lot of victims not to disclose what happened. This is primarily caused by fear, embarrassment, or plain confusion. Keep in mind that the victims are children and there is no way for them to respond well like adults. Then again, adult sexual abuse victims have just as hard a time dealing with the trauma. There are quite a number of victims who are not able to move on. They are constantly haunted by the trauma even when they reach adulthood, or years after the actual abuse took place. So how are they going to get past the trauma and painful memories? Part of the answer is sharing and disclosure. bopsass

When victims prefer to hide and keep the pain, they will never heal from it. If you are one of these victims, you have to remember that there are actually a lot of benefits to telling your child sexual abuse story. Let’s enumerate them:

1. The experience of being abused results in the devaluing and sudden loss of one’s sense of self. But if you succeed in sharing your story with the people you love and trust, there’s a chance that they can help you understand what has happened to you. Most victims think that by not letting anyone know, they also can convince themselves that the abuse wasn’t really a life changer. Unfortunately, it is. By telling what you have been through, you are also telling them that the abuse really impacted your life and you are ready for the wound to be healed. sexual assault tauranga

2. By telling your story, you are telling the truth. For your entire life, you cannot just live a lie and hope no one will know it. You may actually hide it from others but you can never do the same for yourself. Have the courage to share your story and you will realize later on how the wounds begin to heal. sexually assaulted Tauranga

3. As long as you continue to keep it a secret, you are also putting yourself captive to the offender. Although the abuse has already been consummated, there is no escape as long as you elect not to tell anyone about it. But if you do try to disclose it, people close to you will definitely help put closure to the trauma and start helping you out build a brighter future.

4. If you think telling someone about the abuse puts you in shame, you’re wrong. The best way to get rid of shame is telling your loved ones that you have been abused. If you have the courage to do this, your family will see you as someone who’s strong enough to fight off the trauma and consequences of the abuse. sexual abuse hamilton

5. By telling your child sexual abuse experience, you become a good example for all other victims who do not have the kind of courage and strength you have. They will see you as a good example of how victims can actually live normal lives and get rid of the negative effects it has inflicted upon them. It can also potentially save the lives of future victims, if your abuser is still roaming free.

It is common for anyone who suffered from child sexual abuse to struggle and fight negative emotions, especially shame. The trauma inflicted to each victim defines the kind of life they may live in the not too distant future. Even though everyone from friends, relatives, and family know that it is not the victim’s fault, it is still very difficult to live a normal life without traces and glimpses of shame. bopsass

Sadly, almost every victim of child sexual abuse thinks that there is no one to be blamed for what had happened to them but themselves. This is a troubling but realistic theme among survivors. These victims totally regret the abuse experience and think of it as something that may have turned their lives into the dark and unfortunate side. Trauma is actually an instinctive type of response. But shame is different. It can be prevented and every victim of child sexual abuse should not be abandoned to feel that way. sexual assault tauranga

Sexual abuse may come in different forms and the level of shame every victim feels depends on the gravity of the abuse. For instance, those who survived intra-familial sexual abuse and gang rape are the most likely to suffer the deepest level of shame. If the abuse is very degrading, the effect towards the victim can be devastating, and in some instances, even life threatening. If a young girl suffered molestation at the hands of her own father or brother, she will likely feel deeply embarrassed when other people know about it. What she does therefore is opt to keep the experience to her self. In this way, she will at least limit the effects of shame. However, we all know that in the long run, failure to disclose any kind of sexual abuse experience will only result to long term emotional and psychological effects. sexually assaulted Tauranga

Maintaining silence is a very common practice among victims. Although it seems like it helps, it actually worsens the trauma. When survivors do not tell their stories of abuse, they also fail to heal and recover. What happens is they may skip the shameful feeling of everyone knowing about it, but they will always carry the painful memories for the rest of their lives. Sometimes, one has to put in mind that there are times when self-worth must be sacrificed just to give way to healing and recovery. Child sexual abuse survivors get the worst kind of trauma, but by eliminating that fear of shame and embarrassment, they will be able to get rid of the future long term effects of the abuse.

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Shame, as the result of the trauma of sexual abuse can bring about a radical rearrangement and disorganisation of the internal processes children use to make sense of their world. They are unable to separate a shameful event from their sense of self-worth so their ability to feel loved and respected is affected. bopsass

Children are particularly vulnerable to developing feelings of shame following a traumatic experience because their views of themselves are still forming. Sexual abuse not only violates the trust established in the interpersonal bond between adult and child, it creates deep feelings of shame, which negatively impact on the child’s sense of self. sexual assault tauranga

When feelings of shame arise, it creates a strong desire to “hide”, to conceal oneself and to keep quiet. Child sexual abuse is by nature highly secretive and is often perpetrated by trusted caretakers. Abusers frequently encourage children to believe negative (and shameful) things about themselves. For example, they may come to believe that it was their “dirty” or “seductive” behaviour that led to the abuse. Or they may be told that they will be considered “sluts” or “poofters” and therefore be ridiculed and disbelieved by their closest friends and family if they disclose the abuse. This conspiracy of silence, combined with repeated shaming messages, may increase the likelihood that the child will feel that their experiences reflect negatively on themselves as well as their families and therefore they may continue to remain silent about the abusive episodes. sexually assaulted Tauranga

Moreover, as the abuser grooms the child for more invasive sexual abuse, he may attempt to isolate the child further by disrupting her relationship with significant others. This may take the form of destroying the child’s trust in such an important person as her mother for instance, by suggesting that she is somehow responsible or accepting of the abuse and/or that she will be angry, disbelieving or rejecting if she were told.

A child molester is an unwitting expert at creating shame and it is this expertise that is his greatest weapon. It keeps his victims silent and acquiescent. His skill at “shaming” ensures that the abuse is not disclosed to anyone and, when it is, that shame can be so endemic as to cause family members to ignore or deny the abuse thereby further discrediting the child. sexual assault hamilton

In some cases of sexual abuse, disclosure results in the realization of a child’s greatest fear: being removed from one’s home and family. This can serve to reinforce the perpetrator’s admonitions and in turn strengthen the child’s developing self-view as an outcast and as unlovable. Children in this situation are left imagining their parents’ rage and disapproval further impacting on their sense of shame and responsibility for dismantling the entire family unit.

Sexual abuse can be many things that are not merely penetration such as sexual discrimination, marriage rape, sexual favors, unwanted touch, unintentional touch, sexual comments, etc. The important thing to remember is that most often sexual abuse involves some form of power over the victim. Sexual abuse happens because the offender has power over the victim. This power can be monetary, legal, emotional, etc. Sexual abuse also involves some form of deception and breaking of trust. bopsass

Sexual abuse is very common and is experienced by 1 out of 3 women. Although sexual abuse is common, most of it is not reported (less than 10%) to the legal authorities and if reported, most are unsubstantiated. The lack of reporting is most likely due to the fact that most sexual abuse acts go unpunished and because the laws do not protect the victim. Most of the time, victims have to prove that they have been abused and are often considered to be “making stories up”. This is especially the case when it comes to perpetrators that do not fit the stereotype of “creepy outlaws.” In the case of child abuse, the majority of the perpetrators are people whom the victim knows and trusts. sexual assault tauranga

The Psychoanalysts believe sexual abuse happens because children want to have sex with their parents. Some of the myths behind this explanation are that women cry about rape, children lie about incest, children are sexually provocative, incest is not harmful, and mothers collude with the perpetrator. sexually assaulted Tauranga

The Victim Precipitation Approach states that women ask for it. Myths for this approach include that only young, stereotypically attractive women are raped, and that women can avoid being raped by not walking on the streets, choosing different clothing, etc. Others believe, that sexual abuse is a family dysfunction; that it only occurs because a family is dysfunctional. This is yet another myth. Finally, the psychological approach believes that men who abuse cannot control their sexual urges. This is also a myth or a belief that can be contested. The truth is that sexual abuse occurs when there is a great difference in power, where the perpetrator has more power than the victim. This power may be physical, monetary, social, legal, etc. It is believed by others that the abuse occurs because we are socialized into particular ways to be a man, where male dominance and parent dominance reign; that our system is set up to support and encourage this domination and rarely is truly complicit with the victim. sexual abuse hamilton

What happens after sexual abuse depends on many things. Some of the things it depends on are the length of the abuse, the intensity and frequency of abuse, and the use of force. However, the major determinant for the severity in the consequences to sexual abuse are how those who are close to the victim respond to the disclosure. If family and friends do not believe that the abuse occurred, as is frequent, the victim will fare worse. There are things that will help to overcome sexual abuse, aside from support from family and friends, such as the resiliency of the individual, the age of the victim, the perpetrator’s confession of the abuse, a mentor or supportive environment.

One of the worst things that can happen to a child is when he/she is sexually abused. It takes place when kids or minors are forced, coerced, enticed, deceived, or lured to engage in any kind of sexual activity with an adult, teenager, adolescent, or a fellow child stronger or older. Unfortunately for parents, there are many cases where they are not aware of it until the abuse has already been consummated. bopsass

Because of the prevalence of this crime, authorities and even concerned groups have formulated different strategies in order to prevent other children from being abused or heal and treat those who have already suffered from it. But there is one aspect that has been pretty much overlooked lately. What we are talking about is child sexual abuse intervention. sexual assault tauranga

Child sexual abuse intervention is the process of interfering at the onset of the commission of the crime. There are several scenarios where victims are able to disclose and reveal their experience to someone before further damage or injury is inflicted to them. So if you are the one who has been approached by a victim of child sexual abuse, you must be equipped with the right knowledge to act accordingly. Here are some tips in order to intervene and stop child sexual abuse:

The very first mentality you have to ensure is being prepared if a child tells you that he/she is currently experiencing sexual abuse. Composure is needed especially if you are the parent or someone close to the victim. Never show outrage or fear since the reason why the victim chose you is because he/she thinks you can help him/her. Put in mind that there are no warning signs. It is either that the disclosure happened intentionally or accidentally. In both scenarios, you have to think of a good response. Additionally, bear in mind that your response will determine the kind of trust the victim builds on you. sexually assaulted Tauranga

Next is understanding. A victim of child abuse is under constant fear and anxiety. Thus, he/she is unlikely to respond in a rational manner. As the one responsible for intervening in the abuse, you have to fully understand the victim’s psychological and emotional condition. For instance, you need to listen to everything he/she says, though they may not be right. A lot of them feel that the abuse was their fault or that they are afraid that the abuser might go after them because of the revelation. You have to be there to reassure them of their safety.

Obviously, the last thing you have to be certain of is responding correctly. Proper response entails qualities such as being calm and composed, but as the same time manifesting concern and care. The victim must feel that you are not afraid of the consequences of helping him/her. Furthermore, you have to develop a good and patient listening attitude considering that a child’s disclosure regarding an abuse may well be coupled with strong emotion, tears, and irrational behavior. sexual abuse hamilton

Next, put the safety of the victim as main priority. Ensure that he/she is safe from being abused all over again. If you are in the United States, reporting the abuse to CPS is the most practical thing to do. Informing the authorities is very important especially if you see fresh and recent wounds or bruises in the victim. This may mean that he/she has been abused perhaps in the last 24 hours. Also, keep reminding the victim that you will always be there to keep him/her safe in the whole duration of the intervention process.

On average, one in six men will be victims of sexual violence of some sort. Let’s let that sink in a little because that is just two less accounts of reported sexual violence than women, which clock in at one in four. The very unfortunate difference between male and female survivors of sexual violence is that people don’t seem to know how to handle it when a man tells them they have been raped or molested. No one would ever dream or questioning a female survivor’s sexual identity after being assaulted. Likewise, it would be considered highly insensitive if someone told a female rape victim that she should thank her attacker for teaching her about sex. bopsass

So, how do we respond to a man who decides to break the average 20 year silence and tell you that they have been assaulted? Simply put, you respond with compassion and a little bit of common sense. Do not put any labels on him. He might not be ready to be to identify himself as a victim or a survivor. Most men are extremely nervous about telling people that they have been assaulted. They fear judgment, ridicule, and disbelief about their experience. Being an empathetic listener the key to helping male survivors. Don’t question him. Let him tell you what he is comfortable telling you. Offer to support him in any way that you can. Thank them for trusting you enough to tell you that this happened to them and that it means a lot to you. Also recommend that they seek some professional counseling. sexual assault tauranga

Many counselors use human services software to keep track of important information on their clients, but they are not allowed to disclose any information that the counselor gets from the client to anyone. Reassure them that any kind of note taking that is done is to help further their treatment. Unfortunately, many people are ill prepared to deal with the challenges that come with the high rate of sexual violence in our country. The most important thing to change is our outlooks on what defines rape and other forms of sexual assault. The sexist views on rape and sexual assault need to be changed as well. This isn’t just a woman’s issue. This is a societal issue. This is a cultural issue. And this is a human issue. Through realizing these simple truths, we can help put an end to this epidemic.

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There are many teenage relationship dangers. One of the most common dangers is that of sexual assault. Many use the terms “sexual assault” and “rape” in an interchangeable manner. However, these are two distinct sex crimes. Rape is a word that is used to describe sexual intercourse that is forced. Sexual assault is a term that is used to describe any type of sexual activity that is considered to be non-consensual. This means that there is not an agreement between the person committing sexual assault and the person that is considered to be the victim of the crime. Many teenagers, both male and female, are subjected to this type of assault annually. In this guide introducing teenage relationship dangers, you will learn detailed information about this issue. bopsass

Speak out against this crime against women in the military and ask the Pentagon to stop overlooking the sexual violence at our academies and in the battle zones.

Sexual Assault by a Stranger

As mentioned previously, assault by a stranger is typically not an issue when it comes to teenage relationship dangers. However, if the teen dates “blindly”, this could be a cause for concern, so I feel it is best to mention it in this guide regarding sexual assault. When dealing in percentages, the average rate is 22% among documented reports of sexual assault performed by someone other than a victim knows when it comes to cases involving those that are in their teenage years. When educating your teen or teens that you work with on a regular basis, it is important to ensure that you stress the importance of being aware of their surroundings at all times while out. In addition to this, they should be urged to avoid blind dates, and meeting people that they do not know but have only interacted with online. sexual assault tauranga

Sexual Assault by a Date

When a teenager is assaulted in a sexual form by a date, it is someone that they know and have agreed to become involved with in one way or another – whether as a friend, or romantically. Teenagers are often taught by their peers that when one party or another says “no” to any type of sexual activity, that it actually indicates a subconscious “yes”. While on dates, one party or another may initialize some type of sexual act. This does not mean intercourse only. This may consist of oral sex, and other types of activities that are sexual based. If a party objects the advances, the individual attempting to engage in the activity may then begin to assault them in one way or another. These ways include pressuring, issuing threats, or even forcibly forcing the victim to engage in the desired acts. sexually assaulted Tauranga

Sexual Assault in a Relationship

Sexual assault in a relationship is the most common type of abuse experienced among teenagers. When they are subjected to this, it is likely that they are also experiencing other types of abuse by the person that they consider themselves committed to. It is likely that they may be subjected to physical conflicts, sexual abuse, and even be abused emotionally. Many teenagers in these types of situations are often embarrassed, ashamed, or feel as if they cannot escape the situation that they are in. sexual abuse whakatane

There are many teenage relationship dangers, but sexual assault is one of the most common. Here, you have been introduced to four basic types, how they occur, and what the victim of these types may be experiencing. As an adult, you should know all that you can about teenage relationship dangers so that you may educate them.

Children are truly precious gifts that need to be protected in every way. While most parents are attentive, caring, nurturing and do their very best to provide everything that is needed for their children to flourish and develop into adults who are upstanding citizens, sadly there are still times when harm is done. bopsass

Perhaps the most shocking and sickening harm that is done to children is sexual abuse. Sometimes this happens at the hands of a parent or step parent, and other times it comes from people who children trust and look to for guidance and support. sexual assault tauranga

Unfortunately, there appear to be three institutions that seem to abuse innocent children more than any others. These three have attracted the anger of court systems, the public and even government. They are as follows:

Charities for Boys and Girls: Charities such as boys and girls homes are designed to give children a safe place to go when they are at risk. The main purpose of these organizations is to provide guidance so that children can escape abusive situations at home. Unfortunately, these homes often abuse the very children they promised to protect. sexually assaulted Tauranga

Foster Homes: Foster homes are put in place by local and state governments to provide a residence and place of security for children who have no parents or guardians to watch over them. Cases of sexual abuse and other forms of abuse have continued to rise in foster homes over the last several years. sexual abuse whakatane

To help you understand just how heinous these crimes against children are, let’s take a deeper look into what each of the above mentioned entities is, and how they have taken advantage of their situation.

Proper education and open communication is the best way to protect your children from sexual assault. The world is no longer a safe place nowadays and it would be wise to warn your children of harm that can possibly come their way. There is no use scaring them however and raising them as scared kids who are afraid to explore the world around them. Encourage a relationship of mutual trust with your child. Take time to talk and set some ground rules to help protect your kids and teenagers from sexual assault. bopsass

Star educating your child about sexual assault by talking about personal safety. The best way to start is when your children starts school and remind them every time the family goes out. It is natural to feel a bit uncomfortable about it but kids can sense it if you are uncomfortable. Talk matter-of-factly so that kids, especially teenagers, will take you seriously. sexual assault tauranga

Tell your kids that they are special and important. Make them know that their bodies are their own and that they have the right to say no to anyone who wants to touch with certain body parts like the vagina, penis, breasts, or buttocks. Establish that they could trust you and approach you anytime someone like a stranger makes them feel uncomfortable. Tell children that there are bad people in this world who do bad things and it is not their fault if someone tries to hurt them. sexually assaulted Tauranga

Set ground rules within the family to ensure safety and to protect your child from sexual assault. Keep reminding them, especially teenagers, about rules such as curfews. Consider the ages of your children when teaching them these lessons but kids as young as three years old can understand the most basic concepts of safety already. Another effective way to teach kids about protection is to practice their responses to emergency situations. sexual assault whaktane

Parents must do all they can to protect their children from predators and to help their children know exactly what to do if they are ever at risk of becoming a victim of child molestation or sexual abuse.