The feeling of shame is one definite consequence of child abuse. Being sexually abused as a child is a very traumatic experience and walking with your head up high isn’t possible anymore the minute you realize what kind of suffering you have gotten yourself into. But always remember that not a single part of it is your fault. That’s why you are called a victim, and the one who sexually abused you is called an offender. Above all, don’t let the title of victim control your direction in life. bopsass

In every case that I have known thus far, there is no single victim who did not suffer and struggle with the feeling of shame. It is actually a part of the traumatic experience and by overcoming it; survivors start to heal the wounds of the abuse. But unlike long term effects such as post traumatic stress disorder, dissociative disorders, alcohol and substance abuse, and others, shame is just a temporary emotion. However, it should not be regarded as something that’s easy to overcome. In fact, the very reason why a lot of victims don’t recover is because they cannot fight back the fear of being embarrassed. bay of plenty sexual harm support

So how do we relate shame with recovery and healing?

People who allow shame to consume them after suffering from child sexual abuse will never have a chance to heal and recover. This is because they fear that if other people know about the abuse, they will see it as something that degrades a person’s worth and reputation. Thus, they will never disclose or reveal it to other people. The failure of disclosure then leads to the failure of getting help. How can a victim of child sexual abuse be healed when no one knows about it?

The feeling of shame is considered both as a mindset and a product of emotion. A victim sees himself as someone whose self-worth has been significantly reduced or torn into pieces. While it’s quite natural to be fearful of what others would say and how they would treat you by the time they find out you’ve been abused, that same kind of fear is still preventable. It’s not that it should be tolerated, since allowing the fear of shame and embarrassment will only lead to more serious long term effects of the abuse like stress disorder and irrational behavior. sexual abuse tauranga

While there are several aftereffects of child sexual abuse, shame is one of those that quickly surfaces. It is actually natural to feel that way but it isn’t healthy. By the time the child victim suffers the abuse, the act itself is more than just a typical physical and sexual abuse, it injects a kind of lasting imprint onto the victim – an imprint that contains fear, anger, and shame. These three effects appear immediately after the act is done. While the abuser escapes unharmed and satisfied, the victim is left suffering from shame of facing other people, fear of the possibility that it may happen again, and anger towards the abuser.

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Finding out that your son or daughter has been sexually abused is a very painful and distressing reality. Many parents fail to recover from it while the entire family relationship is put in turmoil and confusion. There are actually distinct effects of child sexual abuse on a particular family and most of those differences are based on who carried out the abuse. bopsass

Clergy Abuse

Whenever children accuse a priest or any clergy member of sexually molesting or abusing them, the kind of impact it has to the family of the victim is very adverse and unpleasant. At the initial moments of the accusation, the alleged victim’s parents cannot help themselves but cast doubt on their child’s allegation. No one can blame them since accusing a member of the church is a very risky and sometimes outrageous thing to do, considering that a priest is perhaps the least of all people to be guilty of such a crime.

But in the event that the accusation is substantiated or perhaps the priest has confessed, there is still a considerable effect towards the family of the victim. For obvious reasons, the entire family, even the relatives start to question their loyalty on the local church or congregation where the offender was housed. It may even go as far as the whole family transferring to another church or even religious faith. bay of plenty sexual harm support

Sexual Abuse Carried Out By a Total Stranger

Since most kids these days are left unmonitored when using the internet, they become a lot more vulnerable for abuse by online predators and pedophiles. These people use web technology such as email, social networking, and chat in order to build relationships with potential victims. If ever your child is abused by an offender he/she met online, the effect on the family are very evident.

The husband and the wife begin to point fingers and blame each other for what had happened to their child. Rules and regulations in the house become a lot stricter and tighter in order to prevent it from happening again. The other kids are not allowed to use the internet anymore without the accompaniment of mother, father, or an older sibling. Regrets and blames fly all over the home. Everyone keeps on blaming either themselves or other family members because no one anticipated the sexual abuse to take place and consume their child. sexually assaulted Tauranga

Intra-familial Sexual Abuse

But there is no other type of child sexual abuse that has more negative effects on a family than intra-familial sexual abuse. It happens when a child is abused by a fellow family member. This type of abuse happens almost every day and it is one of the many reasons why families stumble and eventually end up getting separated and breaking up. sexual assault tauranga

Sexual abuse within the family results to immeasurable anger, embarrassment, fear, and constant fighting. Anger is a natural feeling for any member of the family who finds out that their child is a victim of another member. In a lot of cases, anger becomes the spark for criminal charges, legal issues, and custody battles. Embarrassment is felt not only by the victim and the offender, but the entire family as well. No one wants to have a relative who can swallow molesting his/her own blood. Fear on the other is generally felt by the victim. It may eventually result to the failure of disclosing or revealing the abuse because of the fear of being harmed all over again or perhaps because of embarrassment and other repercussions.

In today’s culture and society, child sexual abuse is considered a very serious crime. While there are corresponding heavy punishments for those who sexually violate children and minors, statistics still reflect a very ironical set of figures when it comes to how many children and teens are sexually abused each year. Not only does this crime exist in third world nations, you can as well cite thousands of cases here in the United States and the first world. What this means is that no law, no matter how harsh it is, can stop the spread of this cancer in society. And the most unfortunate truth is that child victims obtain the most painful effects and consequences. bopsass

Child sexual abuse produces adverse and devastating effects towards the victim. Even if offenders and pedophiles show a single trace of remorse for doing it, victims will always get a traumatic experience that will surely linger on for the rest of their lives.

While experts concentrate on determining the long term psychological and emotional effects of the abuse, there is little attention given to the immediate responses coming from the victims. Post traumatic stress, drug and alcohol addiction, the tendency to become abusers, and mental and behavioral disorders are some of the common consequences for victims who have failed to recover and heal. But all of these usually appear months or years after the abuse. bay of plenty sexual harm support

When it comes to immediate and instant response on the other hand, victims of child sexual abuse usually show feelings of guilt and shame. Guilt is compounded by the culture of silence in most communities where survivors of sexual mistreatment live. A lot of families, places, and neighborhoods in this part of the world find it hard to accept the existence of a child sexual abuse case. For these communities, it is simply unacceptable to talk and think much more to see in actuality, that a child of their own has been abused. Thus, this kind of community setup will lead to the victims thinking that it is their fault why they were abused. And in order not to break this cultural silence, they opt to keep the abuse experience a secret. sexual abuse tauranga

Additionally, intra-familial abuse is another instance where victims are left with no choice but to feel guilty and ashamed. They see themselves as responsible for humiliating the entire family while at the same time feeling the shame of having been able to tell others about it. Sexual abuse that happens within a family is one of the most difficult pains to swallow. Victims are placed in a predicament as to whether reveal the abuse and risk embarrassment for the entire family or just keep it within the home and just carry the pain and suffering all by themselves. sexual assault tauranga

Shame and guilt are actually two instinctive responses that victims feel right after the consummation of the abuse. What’s very sad about this is that it is not the offender that suffers, but the victims. Whenever shame continues to control the emotion and thinking of the victim, healing and recovery are very unlikely. As long as guilt is not removed, victims are capable of inflicting physical and emotional harm to them in a desperate attempt of removing it.

The role we play as parents for our children is pretty tough. It is our job to ensure that they grow healthy and wholesome. It is also our job to protect them from any form of harm and danger out there. One specific risk our kids face is sexual abuse. And though most of us ignore it, this type of crime is actually very prevalent in American society. sexual assault hamilton

Protecting our teens from sexual abuse is a very complicated task. There is really no easy way in making sure that they are safe from potential harm from sex offenders and pedophiles. As we can see, teenagers are fond of seeking several types of relationships outside the home and the family. They love to go out and make friends, look for companionship, and of course have fun. However, this type of personality also makes them quite vulnerable to sexual abuse. Thus, unless you are always with them 24/7, there is actually no way you can monitor who they meet and establish relationships outside.

So what are the things that parents can do in order to protect their teens from sexual abuse?

The initial and most important reminder for them is to learn to face reality – that the threat of sexual abuse is always imminent. Families from a rich and secure neighborhood cannot assume that their children are far away from harm. In fact, sex offenders and pedophiles know no boundaries when it comes to finding their victims. Online communication through social networking and email is so advantageous for these criminals since they can conveniently search for potential targets without revealing their names or their faces. abused sexual hamilton

These people use technology to their benefit. So if your teen spends most of his time online, there’s a good chance that he will be subjected to sexual abuse, especially when his access to the computer is unrestricted. So the bottom line is, as long as parents do not accept the fact that their teens are at a constant risk from sexual abuse, they can do nothing to protect them.

The next thing to do is keeping the communication lines open. Whether we like it or not, our children will eventually ask things about sex. That may come in as early as puberty or when they reach the teenage years. As parents, we cannot simply ignore this. We can’t afford to put those kinds of discussions out of topic. If you don’t discuss it with them they will never learn how to draw boundaries. They have to understand the limitations when it comes to sex. They have to know what those things are that other people don’t have the right to ask them. They have to learn that certain parts of their bodies should not be touched or revealed to other people. These kinds of things can be awkward to open up at first, but as a parent, you have to bear in mind that it is necessary. sexually assaulted hamilton

Finally, one effective means of protecting your teens from sexual abuse is establishing a strong support and companionship for them. Most of the time teens run away from their homes because they feel they’re neglected. Whenever they need their moms and dads to talk to, they’re not there. Whenever they seek advice when they are confused, they’re not getting it. As a result, they find this kind of support and companionship from other people. Unfortunately, there are times when these innocent teens stumble upon sex offenders and pedophiles who pretend to be good and caring for them.

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The legal definition of sex crimes and sexual assault will oftentimes overlap. When sexual abuse includes physical harm or verbal sexual abuse, the type of sex crime may be considered “sexual assault” by the courts. Due to the malicious nature of these crimes, often times the courts will sentence those convicted to harsh consequences. Sentences vary from state to state, but all states include such penalties as large fines and jail time. People that have been convicted of these crimes may also be put on a list of sex offenders. This “National Sex Offender Registry” is made publicly available. Society tends to turn their heads away from these criminals, and therefore being registered can affect the criminal and their loved ones for their entire lives. bopsass

Sexual assault charges may be brought against people that have been assumed to be engaged in sexual contact without consent. This can occur at any age level. If a child under the age of 18 is involved, the consequences may be more severe. Common sexual assault charges are given to those accused of child molestation, sexual penetration, intercourse, inappropriate touching, or exposure of genitals. bay of plenty sexual harm support

Many people will assume those charged with sexual assault are guilty before they are even tried. However, many of these people are judged before all of the details of the case have emerged. sexual abuse tauranga

The most effective way a person can defend themselves is through hiring an attorney. A defense attorney can help eliminate or reduce charges in many ways. This includes proving false or exaggerated testimony, showing their client’s desire for rehabilitation, or, in the event they have never been in trouble with the law, pointing out the fact that the individual has a clean record.

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Women incur the violence in nine out of ten cases of violence. One out of every three women report sexual or physical abuse in their lifetime, and these are the ones reported. bopsass

Women are seen as an easy target to a male attacker. This should not be the case, as women can protect themselves from attack and rape. To accomplish this the woman must be proactive and get the tools and training she needs. We should be able, as a society, to reduce the victims to an equal ratio of men vs women. Size and strength is a factor, but does not eliminate the ability of a woman to defend herself.

Attacks come in three primary areas of life. The first is violence at home between domestic partners, family members or intruders. The second instance is at school especially for college students that are away on campus. Finally the boldest is being attacked in public, such as streets, alleys and parking lots. This does not preclude attacks that can happen at work or in secluded places. We will focus on the three main areas, and techniques in these areas can be used in other circumstances. sexual assault tauranga

Whether you are married, in a relationship or living with a relative, domestic abuse is real and it can happen to you. Twenty percentage of women in a serious relationship report being slapped or hit, and Thirty percent report that they are worried about their safety in their relationship at home. It is not just being in the wrong marriage with the wrong person. A spouse or family member living with you can have a devastating experience, as in a job loss or auto accident. Feeling safe from prying eyes and intervention, this person may take out their frustration on their spouse or relative in their own home. Intruders may enter your home and if confronted, may attack. If not confronted most intruders will try to escape and run, but if confronted and fear being identified, may attack, rape or murder the home owner. sexually assaulted Tauranga

College is a great experience for a young adult when properly prepared for the experience. Isolated from home, hormones raging, access to drugs or alcohol all contribute to some devastating statistics at college. One out of every four women will be sexually assaulted at college and one out of eight will be raped. One-half of rapes in college occur while on a date. This helps explain why nine out of ten women know their rapist. During date rapes three out of four men and one out of every two women were involved with drugs or had been drinking. sexual abuse hamilton

People who incur violence or assault in public are usually desperate or intoxicated with drugs and or alcohol. These are people who are oblivious to the fact they can be seen or identified. Usually these attacks occur near areas where the economy is very bad or alcohol and drugs are readily available, such as slums or low-class bars. In most of these cases the attacker and the victim do not know each other. With a little thought and preparation these areas can be avoided, especially at night. If your job or some other reason dictates you must be in these areas, there are ways to protect yourself.

Sexual assault is an assault of a sexual aspect on someone else. Even if sexual assaults most often are by a guy on a woman, it may be by a guy on a guy, woman on a man or lady on a lady, adult on a kid, child on an adult or kid on a child. While sexual assaults are linked to the crime of rape, it may cover assaults which wouldn’t be regarded as rape. What constitutes a sexual attack is determined by the laws of the jurisdiction where the assault happens, which vary considerably, and are influenced by local social as well as cultural perceptions. bopsass

Sexual assault can be verbal, visual, or something which causes a person to participate in unwanted sex contact or interest. Examples of this are voyeurism (when someone watches personal sexual acts), exhibitionism (when someone reveals him/herself in public places), incest (sexual contact among family members), and sexual harassment. It could happen in various circumstances: in the home by someone you know, on a date, or by a complete stranger within an isolated area. Rape is a common kind of sexual assault. It is committed in several situations – on a date, by a friend or an associate, or when you think you’re alone. sexual assault tauranga

Most often when people hear the words “sexual assault” they think of rape. One might instantly picture a stranger leaping out of the bushes to rape a lady strolling home from work late into the evening. While it’s true that rape by a stranger is a kind of sexual assault, it is vital to add the wide selection of unwanted sexual contacts that a lot of people experience within our definition of these words. Sexual assault can include child sexual abuse, rape, attempted rape, incest, exhibitionism, voyeurism, obscene telephone calls, fondling, and sexual harassment. abused sexual tauranga

There is a range of nonconsensual sex acts which create a continuum in which each form of sexual assault is linked to the others through their root causes, as well as by the effects they have on people and communities. While sexual attack can take countless forms, it is very important to remember that the loss in power and control that a victim of sexual assault encounters is a very common thread. sexually assaulted Tauranga

If you were sexually attacked or think you have been, first, you must overcome the judgment of reporting the event. The women’s movement and the media have done a great deal to get rid of the stigma of becoming a sufferer of sexual attack. There are benefits to revealing sexual attacks, however, which include being eligible for state crime victim compensation resources. If a prey is eligible, these funds can possibly cover the sexual assault forensic examination; additional medical expenses; one-time or ongoing sexually transmitted disease screening; mental counseling and treatment; lost wages; and other services and assistance. Furthermore, a lot of sexual attack survivors report that choosing to stick to criminal prosecution contributes to a sense of accomplishment and empowerment since they’re trying to protect themselves as well as others in the community from being victimized.

What happens when children are sexually assaulted or molested? A lot of times, victims aren’t able to cope with the consequences of being sexually, physically, and emotionally abused. The effects can in fact be very devastating, not only to the life of the victims, but to their families and friends as well. The immediate result is a grievous sense of loss. The mental and physical being of a child victim suffer huge blows. bopsass

So when we talk about the tangible effects of sexual assault on the victims, one thing is guaranteed – that every portion and aspect of their lives are affected. Anxiety and fear are two common signs but for so many victims, it does not end there. There is a seemingly endless anguish that can wholly ruin their future.

One of the immediate effects is the sudden absence and lack of self-worth. When children are sexually assaulted, they usually think that it’s their fault – though of course that isn’t true. Sex offenders are so good at grooming their victims that by the time they are finished abusing them, the victims develop a sense of self-blame – that they actually deserve what happened to them. Unlike other crimes that do not involve sexual exploitation, victims can always recall the disturbing experience although they don’t intend to. sexual assault tauranga

This means that the long term effects of child sexual abuse are far worse compared to any other type of crime. You can be robbed, battered, swindled, or seriously injured but as soon as the wounds of those crimes are healed, you also heal. But with sexual abuse, effects will linger on for life.

Aside from the lack of self-worth, child victims are denied of their right to grow and develop normally and build a great future ahead. The opportunity to live a good and promising life ahead is at risk when children are sexually abused. Their lives are placed on a stagnant state. They become trapped in it and instead of going outside trying to bring back what’s lost, they instead opt to turn their backs and think that the world is against them and that even God Himself hates them. This is the very reason why so many victims do not live to see their adult lives. Many of them cannot simply withstand the trauma that the only way to escape it is putting an end to their lives. sexually assaulted Tauranga

Although there are so many crimes and offenses that can be directed to a person, nothing is more gruesome effect-wise to that of sexual abuse. Why? – Because robbery, battery, torture, and all other victims of common crimes do not end their own lives after the experience. But for sexual abuse and molestation victims, suicidal tendency is very common.

How about those who are able to manage themselves out of committing suicide? Unfortunately for those who seem to handle the abuse well, negative effects may still appear. Although they choose not to end their own lives, they may exhibit signs of the trauma such as post traumatic stress disorder, paranoia, and other behavioral disorders. Much worse, some of these victims may resort to drug and alcohol addiction in order to temporarily escape the unwanted memories of the abuse. sexual abuse hamilton

As we can observe, victims of child sexual assault and abuse have everything to lose. It is very painful to see that while they were the ones who experienced the abuse, they are also the ones who will continue to suffer the effects of it in the future. The main point is that we as a society have to endorse a comprehensive and supportive approach towards victims.

Women fall victim to sexual assault nearly every minute of every day in the United States. There is no age limit, and even if somehow the actual act is avoided, the violence alone is enough to traumatize and humiliate you. Police departments may mean well in their investigations, but many victims are left feeling vulnerable and somehow guilty after the fact. The sheer volume of unsolved and unsubstantiated cases, especially in large cities across the country, grow every year, and the list of people falsely accused of the crime grows every day when overworked investigators try to get dangerous criminals off the street. If this happened to you, would you know what to do?

Reasons Behind False Accusations

Sexual assault is defined as forcible sexual congress against an unwilling partner. This charge covers rape, attempted rape, statutory rape, assault with intent to rape, and sodomy. During an investigation, the sexual history of the victim is examined, and DNA samples taken, if possible. Anyone known to be among the victim’s association will be investigated, and asked for DNA samples. This is standard operating procedure for any sexual crimes unit within law enforcement. bopsass

Where the false accusations come in are in those cases where no assault was actually committed, or cannot be proven. Too often, a participant in a one night stand has second thoughts about the affair, or a parent lodges charges on behalf of an underage girl against their of age boyfriend, regardless of whether they believe the sex was consensual. Still other supposed victims may have mental disabilities that lead them to believe that someone they feel is attracted to them committed the crime as the result of a fantasy relationship. It is these types of scenarios that lead to genuine victims not being believed when they are truly assaulted. sexual assault tauranga

What To Do If Accused

If you find yourself facing such charges, your first step should be to retain an experienced criminal defense attorney. Cooperate fully with law enforcement, even to the extent of giving up DNA samples. Be completely honest about your sexual history when asked by investigators, because any hesitation on your part could be perceived as guilt on your part. Chivalry and a desire to protect any female associations will not save you in this case, and fully cooperating with law enforcement, and your attorney, will help to mount the best defense possible. sexually assaulted Tauranga

This is one of the most serious felony charges possible, short of murder, that can be lodged against anyone. Penalties include jail time, and an automatic registry in the national sexual offenders watch list. An experienced criminal defense attorney can help you avoid all of this, and with your cooperation, can get you through the trial to follow, if prosecutors decide to go ahead. The investigations leading up to this moment are extremely personal and invasive, and you must be prepared to deal with it, without giving in to stress and anger. sexual abuse hamilton

Defense Strategies

Because of the nature of the crime, defense tactics will be more personal than you may be prepared to deal with. The number one defense against this type of charge is to attack the accuser, and break down their accusations against you. Your sexual history may become public record, as well as any and all liaisons you may have had recently, and in the past. This can be very embarrassing, but it may be necessary, in order to mount an effective defense.

Each state has its own laws regarding sexual assault so there can be some differences from state to state. Definitions may vary from groping to sexual assault and battery or attempted rape. No matter which state it is, however, this crime involves unwanted and offensive touching of a sexual nature and is considered criminal behavior in every state. bopsass

Even though the wording each state uses in its laws may differ from that of other states and the exact definition may not be the same, there are shared elements in the laws. Due to those things that are different, it is best to check how the local laws are worded to find the answers to any questions about what is considered sexual assault.

Proving Charges

Typically, this crime is one in which a person forces sexual contact with a victim. The victim often is faced with threats of violence or rendered defenseless in some manner. Some people are not able to understand what is being done to them due to mental disabilities. In these cases, even if the victim seemed willing, they are usually considered a victim of criminal sexual assault. Those who are physically disabled are usually unable to defend themselves or offer any resistance are also considered victims. sexual assault tauranga

Any time a person is not able to say no to sexual contact, that person can be considered a victim. Date rape drugs, recreational drugs and alcohol can render a person unable to make decisions in a rational manner. Because of this, being under their influence makes a person unable to give legal consent to any sexual activity with someone else. sexually assaulted Tauranga

Now days, the laws regarding sexual contact of an unwanted nature are worded so they cover unconsented sexual contact regardless of gender or age. Because of this, nonconsensual sexual contact can involve two children or any combination of adults and is not restricted to such contact being between adults of opposite genders or adults and children. sexual abuse hamilton

The term sexual assault is used in some states to refer to a number of different sex related crimes. It may refer to unwanted contact of a sexual nature of any kind, including rape. Some states may be more definitive in assigning severity levels of the crime. One example is forced sexual touching, such as groping, may be considered a misdemeanor while it takes sexual penetration to be considered first degree felony sexual assault. Forms of unwanted sexual conduct falling between the two will have degrees of seriousness assigned based on where they fit in the progression of activity.