The Hidden Victim in Domestic and Sexual Abuse

On average, one in six men will be victims of sexual violence of some sort. Let’s let that sink in a little because that is just two less accounts of reported sexual violence than women, which clock in at one in four. The very unfortunate difference between male and female survivors of sexual violence is that people don’t seem to know how to handle it when a man tells them they have been raped or molested. No one would ever dream or questioning a female survivor’s sexual identity after being assaulted. Likewise, it would be considered highly insensitive if someone told a female rape victim that she should thank her attacker for teaching her about sex. bopsass

So, how do we respond to a man who decides to break the average 20 year silence and tell you that they have been assaulted? Simply put, you respond with compassion and a little bit of common sense. Do not put any labels on him. He might not be ready to be to identify himself as a victim or a survivor. Most men are extremely nervous about telling people that they have been assaulted. They fear judgment, ridicule, and disbelief about their experience. Being an empathetic listener the key to helping male survivors. Don’t question him. Let him tell you what he is comfortable telling you. Offer to support him in any way that you can. Thank them for trusting you enough to tell you that this happened to them and that it means a lot to you. Also recommend that they seek some professional counseling. sexual assault tauranga

Many counselors use human services software to keep track of important information on their clients, but they are not allowed to disclose any information that the counselor gets from the client to anyone. Reassure them that any kind of note taking that is done is to help further their treatment. Unfortunately, many people are ill prepared to deal with the challenges that come with the high rate of sexual violence in our country. The most important thing to change is our outlooks on what defines rape and other forms of sexual assault. The sexist views on rape and sexual assault need to be changed as well. This isn’t just a woman’s issue. This is a societal issue. This is a cultural issue. And this is a human issue. Through realizing these simple truths, we can help put an end to this epidemic.

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